start again
by apocalyptic harmony
Summary: What if Lucy knew Gajeel and Laxus from when she was younger? What is she also knew Macao and Wakaba? What if she was a necromancer? Who will she date? What team will she join? Who else did she know? Why did she rejoin? Was it so that she could start again? SHORT HIATUS goin through, tweaking it and grammar checking
1. Chapter 1

**hey guys~**

 **review the story and put in you vote for which person lucy should go out with~**

 **Gajeel-**

 **Laxus-**

 **Natsu-**

 **Gray-**

 **Zeref-**

 **any girls?-**

 **Freed-**

 **Bickslow-**

 **Jellal-**

 **Mystogan-**

 **Lyon-**

 **Sting-**

 **Rogue-**

 **apocalypse out~**

* * *

The fairytail guild was loud like normal, with people drinking, cheering and brawling. All normal even when the doors slammed open, nobody payed attention to it because that's how people act when they've returned from a job. The only thing that did confuse the guild was that they hadn't heard the 'we're back' that the teams always yell when they have returned from their mission. They all slowly turned towards the door to see a girl of about 18 years. She had hip length blonde hair in a braid over her left shoulder with small black roses intertwined and small curls framing her face. A black flat top hat with a wide brim, a black choker with a Silver cross hanging off and a small silver chain with a stormy blue orb, a single silver bracelet. She wore a black skater dress with ¾ length sleeves and a lace skirt with a silver belt under her bust. On her legs she wore sheer black lace tights and black platform shoes with black laces. Her face held dark purple/red lipstick and a pale Gray smoky eye and eyeliner. She had a piercing in the corner of her mouth and her septum. She also had three piercings on each ear.

"what are you looking at?" she sneered at the guild while crossing her arms underneath her bust, pushing it up unknowingly. While causing most of the men to pass out from nose bleeds.

"Is Laxus, Macao and Gajeel here?" she asked nonchalantly while walking into the guild and kicking the door shut behind her. A young blue haired woman wearing an orange dress came over to her and said quietly

"uhm, yes Macao is over there with Wakaba- "

"Wakaba is here!?" the blonde squealed while bouncing up and down causing more men to pass out from nose bleeds

"uhm… yes as I was saying Macao is over there with Wakaba, Laxus is in his office and Gajeel is over in the corner but I wouldn't try to talk to him he doesn't really… "

She trailed off as the blonde sprinted past her and launched herself at the iron dragon slayer while laughing. Once Gajeel had noticed who it was he started spinning with the blonde girl still in his grasp. Gajeel could be seen smiling and looking absolutely carefree while laughing as well instead of his weird 'gihi' that he is known for

"I missed you!" the blonde says as she nuzzles into his chest once they stopped spinning, people who didn't know them would think that they were dating and hadn't seen each other for years, which was partly true.

"you might wanna go say hi to the old geezers before your boy toy" Gajeel whispers into her ear before a mischievous grin spreads across his mouth, he turns his face slightly to the side and licks the outer shell of her ear from the lobe to the top.

"eeeeeeeeee~www! Gajeel! What was that for? Your breath stinks!" the girl squealed before wiping her hand across her ear and smearing it down the front of his face causing the pierced male to grimace

Girls pov

"come on stars, you need to say hi to the old pervs" Gajeel reminded me causing my face to almost split in half as I remembered my drinking buddies. I squirm out of Gajeel's hold and run over to where they are and grab the mug that Macao is about to drink out of and chug it down before wiping at my mouth. I'm sudden very happy that I'm wearing magic lipstick from Virgo that doesn't smudge otherwise I would have a beautiful streak across my face now that would be _reeaall_ _attractive_

Macao turns towards me grumbling about his beer being taken before realizing me to which he beams and throw himself at me with a very feminine squeal of "Lucy-Chan!" Wakaba lowers his mug and also sees me, throws himself at me with yet another squeal of my name with the embarrassing honorific from the men in their late thirties _at least_

"come on guys, get off people are giving me really weird looks" the men didn't let go of me, I decide to try something that I know will make them let go

"I haven't said hi to Laxus yet" I whisper as I bend down to their ear level, they let go of me sharpish and run towards the bar in sheer terror at the thought of the over lightning mage. I stand up and smooth any wrinkles that might've appeared when I got tackled *sigh* good times. I notice that there is only three people sitting upstairs. It must be reserved for s-class and what Laxus likes to call his 'body guards'

 _They must be the 'thunder legion' that Laxus told me about… now who was who, uhm the girl was always? No… uhm Neverblue? Nope uhm oh! Evergreen. The green haired guy was Freed and the visor guys who Laxus had also been kind enough to tell me was a giant pervert was called Bickslow or for some special occasions Bertha. Let's have some fun with this._

* * *

I walk up to the stairs leading up to the second floor only to be stopped by a red haired woman wearing armour _ah, the so-called Titania queen of the fairies._

"sorry but that floor is reserved for s-class and master unless you have been invited"

"then let me pass, Laxus invited me, he is the reason that I am standing in this building at the moment" the red head gives me a suspicious look before sighing and moving out of the way

. I continue to walk up the stairs and stop in front of the table that held the thunder legion. I let my magic flare out and merge with theirs slightly so I can tell what magic they own.

 _Fairy magic and stone eyes, cool_

 _Rune magic and dark_ _Écriture niice_

 _Seith mage and figure eyes_

"sup bertha, Ever and Freed" I greet with a subtle smirk pulling at the corner of my mouth they all look at me in surprise before Bickslow realizes what I called him and groaned while resting his head against the table while muttering something along the lines of 'it was only one time… stupid dare… stupid Laxus…alcohol…hangover…worth it'

"hello miss may I ask why you are here and how you know that embarrassing *cough cough* hilarious *cough cough* story and nickname of Bickslow"

"awe the boogeyman doesn't remember me, what about you never?" that should jog their memory

"Lu?" Evergreen asks with tears in her eyes as she looks at me over the edge of her glasses.

"nice to know that you remember me Ever shame I can't say the same with bertha and Mr. kinky over here" they both jerk their heads up with recognition in their eyes before launching themselves at me yelling something along the lines of 'your back *sob* I missed you! Laxus has been so moody! Why did you leave?'

"guys calm down, I didn't want to go but father missed me, I mean he hadn't seen me for about 4 years and he wanted me to meet some cousins he found out about, you know Eve from Blue Pegasus right? Yeah his mother was my mother's sister"

"Lucy-sama have you spoken to Laxus-sama yet?" Freed asks me, reminding me of the reason I had come upstairs in the first place

"oh yeah, I need to do that, is his office the same room as it was last time?" I got a nod as my reply as I started walking off to see my life long best friend and possibly crush… just maybe

As I walk down the hallway I try to remember the certain way we used to knock on doors so that we knew it was each other, the person who was inside would knock on either the other side of the door or the closest hard surface to them. I reach the door and breath in deeply before letting it all out and raising my hands *clap, clap tap tap tap clap tap tap clap tap clap tap clap tap tap* (A/N cup song) I hear a sharp intake of breath before the slow reply of what I had done. I open the door slowly to come face to face well, face to chest with Laxus. I look up to see tears glittering in his eyes and his lip slightly quivering.

"hey la-chan" I whisper before I get crushed to his chest in an extremely tight hug. "you're back" I hear his voice crack slightly and I nod slightly. The hug tightens momentarily before he lets go and holds me at arm length to inspect me.

" I see your style has changed a lot" he mutters before chuckling slightly, I look down at myself in mock shock before equipping into the stuff that I used to wear with my hair in a side ponytail. His eyes roam up and down my new outfit before a slight wince shows on his face, _he is such a child_

"yeah, I prefer it over this look" I say before gesturing to what I was now wearing with my hands

"yeah, me too, change back its weird seeing you in such bright colours" he says quickly. As I do I realize that his eyes had been locked onto the stormy blue orb I was wearing around my neck. I touch it as I remember why I was wearing it, because it reminded me of his eyes, the fact that it was a lightning lacrima only made it better. I lift my left palm up and a spark of lightning ignites (A/N is that the right word?) in the center of it

"cool, lightning lacrima" he says in slight awe and what sounds like venom, I remember what happened with the asshole Ivan. I can't believe that he did that to his own son just because he deemed him weak. He was fucking 7 years' old. I promised to myself years ago that if I ever met him I would kill him

"yeah, it reminded me of you. Kind of sad isn't it" I say while scratching my right cheek awkwardly.

"nah, I bought an old key on a chain and wore it for 8 years straight because it reminded me of your magic" he says with a distant look in his eye while I raise my eyebrow at him and stifle a laugh *cough cough* I mean yeah it is totally sad" he says with a light coating of blush on his face

"so will I be able to get my s-class back?" I ask because that is literally the only thing I am worrying about. My test was really hard but I am officially the youngest person in fairy tail to get s-class. I should probably introduce myself

My name is Lucy Heartfilia and I am 18 years old. My magic is a weird mix of my family because I am the offspring of the fairy queen and the devil king. I have celestial magic which is a light magic and necromancer which is obviously dark magic. Ooh and a new one that I learnt while I was at my dad's house was that I can summon the demon gates of Tartarus which is cool. I heard of a dark guild who said that they are demons which seemed to annoy the real deal so they asked me to infiltrate them then slowly destroy them from the inside out. Best summer break ever. Am I right? Anyway my demons, my spirits and I absolutely demolished the dark guild and uhm… the rest of the Baram alliance because we got bored. Maybe. It was fun though and I got this weird title of something to do with a saint? They call me something like 'one of the three royals of Ashgar' it used to be three kings of Ashgar I think but since, you know, I'm a girl they changed it. It's kind of cool I mean I got a nice jacket but it's boring that I have to go to all of these boring meetings that I am driven to such boredom that I nearly cry. It's just _so_ boring. Jura-san doesn't really like me, I think its because he worked really, really hard to become a wizard saint and he finally got it by destroying thousands of dark guild and saving millions of lives while I only got it from destroying all of the Baram Alliance and saving mere hundreds of thousands of families. It's like I'm nothing to him. He also doesn't like the fact that I asked if my coat can be mainly black instead of white and the wizard saint logo be in Silver so that it suits my magic (and my closets colour scheme). When they approved my request Jura-san attacked me, well tried to. Cerberus wasn't very Happy about that and may or may not have opened his own gate and ripped part of Jura-sans' face and half of each of his eyebrows which may or may not be why his eyebrows are screwed up… whoops?


	2. Chapter 2

**hey guys~**

 **I would like it if you people voted what ship you want this story to be.**

 **the votes we have so far are~ *drumroll***

 **Laxus - 1**

 **Gajeel - 1**

 **Natsu- 1**

 **Gray- 1**

 **Zeref- 1**

 **Levy- 2**

 **Erza- 2**

 **Cana- 1**

 **Juvia- 1**

 **Mira- 2**

 **Lisanna- 2**

 **Freed-**

 **Bickslow-**

 **Jellal/ mystogan-1**

 **Lyon- 1**

 **Sting-**

 **Rogue-**

 **seems that Levy, Erza, Mira and Lisanna are in the lead while Freed, Bickslow, Sting and Rogue fall last *sad face***

 **keep voting guys x**

 **please vote 'cos I'm not sure x**

 **apocalypse out~**

* * *

"is Makarov here?" I ask as we walk into Laxus' office

"uhm, yeah he is in his office I think and you know he still wants you to call him gramps. Ooh, I have a great idea. You have cancer and Virgo right?" he asks and when I nod his eyes alight in mischief

"well, I was thinking if you summon Virgo then she could bring you some different clothes, change the colour of your eyes with some celestial potions and maybe some fake tattoos and then cancer could change the colour of your hair, all you need is a fake name and then you can place the keys down on his desk and see his reaction, it will be hilarious" Laxus exclaims after finishing his plan, instead of answering him I summon the two spirits and quickly explain the plan to them.

* * *

15 minutes and three slaps and a kick to Laxus later~~

* * *

As I look in the full length mirror that Virgo had brought me I see the difference in me. Its creepy. I have a pixie cut of black hair that took cancer ages to convince to do. I have one green eye and one bright blue eye with gold specks. i am wearing, oh god, what am I wearing...

* * *

Face-

Silver smoky eye and black eyeliner with mascara.

I still have my piercings (thank god they're limiters) I also have a normal nose piercing and an eyebrow piercing.

My ear piercings are all silver stars with my lip piercing being a small silver hoop with a tiny star on it (somehow) and my septum piercing is a silver hoop with a star hanging just above my upper lip. It feels weird when I speak. I also have on a pale nude lipstick and clear lip gloss.

My tongue piercing is a simple silver ball

Jewellery-

Ring on each thumb and pinkie which are all silver except the right pinkie which looks black, but upon closer inspection has loads of tiny stars in it

Clothes-

Black and silvery grey striped top that stopped literally just below my boobs, literally it was like a bikini top just with stripes. I had one sleeve that started on my bicep. I wore black leather, real leather pants that were skin tight I had black six inch stilettos with spikes all over them.

* * *

Once I had finished looking my look over I stepped out from behind the screen that Virgo had put up to stop Laxus looking because he is a pervert, just like his gramps… anyways

"what do you think Laxus~" I said drawing his name out and pulling a blue round sucker out of seemingly nowhere and putting it in my mouth letting my tongue piercing click against it. He looks up at me from what looks to be paperwork _haha peak._ As I slowly spin around I feel his eyes travel up and down my body, stopping at certain areas *cough cough* my boobs and ass *cough cough* as I spin to see his face I see his nose bleeding and him drooling slightly

"wow, you are _such_ a pervert"

" I say around my replaced sucker snapping him out of his pervert induced daze, his eyes come back from the wall to me and latch onto my tongue which is swirling around the blue sucker my piercing tapping against it ever so slightly.

"wanna go see the old man?" I ask with a sly smile at the bleeding that he is trying to clean up sneakily.

"uhm, yeah but on one condition" he says with his own smirk after he has finished cleaning up

"what is it?" I ask with a slight eye roll

"you have to tell me everything about what happened while you were gone at a sleepover with Gajeel again like old times" he says with a smirk still but a slight lonely look in his eyes

"aww, did Gajeel refuse to have a slumber party with you without me?" I say louder than necessary so that Gajeel can hear it from downstairs. he has the best hearing out of the dragon slayers because of his element. the sky dragon have the best nose because of it being in the air and that being their element while the fire dragons *sigh* _they_ just have a better taste that they use to stuff their gullet.

"Sh-shut up!" Laxus stutters with his cheeks being coated in a light pink colour aww

"Laxus, pink is totally your colour" I say while holding up a camera lacrima from seemingly nowhere (psst. Virgo gave the pockets to my pants have everything I need in them because they are from the spirit world they basically have another dimension in them. it saves me having to wear a bag but I do have an infinite bag at home that I still need to use...

"I hate you" Laxus deadpans before turning towards the door, hmm, I am now very Happy that Virgo got me waterproof, smudge proof makeup because this will be really fun. I start to fake cry with the tears and everything.

"But I travelled for hours to come here to be able to see you and Gajeel and the old guys and y-you hate me?" I say really quietly while the 'tears' carry on falling down my cheeks

"Ah shit, I didn't mean to make you cry Lucy I'm sorry. Fuck I don't actually hate you, I was joking" Laxus blurted out to try and comfort me while running his hands through his hair

"R-really?" I ask while keeping up the act

"yeah really."

"How many push ups?" I ask actually curious.

Now you see while me and Laxus were training for the s-class trials we did drills and we absolutely hated them but they made us stronger. We did hundreds of push ups, pull ups, sit ups, pelvis raises, burpees, squats and weights and loads more but we probably hated the pull ups and press-ups the most so whenever we made a promise we would add those so that I the person broke the promise they would have to do those drills.

"60,000" he says while looking me straight in the eye and holding my hands but seriously we haven't done that many except for one promise which was that if one of us moves away we will always find each other no matter what happened.

"60,000!" I squawk "but you know that the promise is that we have to do them all in one go!"

"I know, now let's go freak gramps out!" He whispers to me with excitement in his eyes, _such_ a child.

"Okay!" I chirp while whipping at the 'tears' with the back of my hand and running towards the door, I hear a groan of defeat before him following me, success.

I run down the hallway before skidding to a halt in front of Master's office, waiting for Laxus to catch up. For such a big guy he is really slow.

As soon as he is right behind me I knock on the door before bursting in to see master slamming down a magazine, _pervert._ I walk over to the desk and slam my hands down on it to jolt him and make him look up at my face with a questioning gaze. I reach around my belt while my eyes were still locked with his and unclasped the ring of keys before plonking them down in front of master with a victorious gaze.

He slowly looks down at what hit his desk only to snap his head backup with a horror filled gaze with tears gathering at the corner of his eyes and his lower lip trembling.

Narrator's pov

"Th-these are L-Lucy's keys" he states while running his hands over the cold metal. The keys warming slightly as they recognise him, especially a black key with red flames all over the bow. The key glowed slightly before it burned red hot then went ice cold. A cloud of black smoke seeped out of the tip of the key. It gathered in the centre of the room in a ball. When the cloud had cleared, in its place was a young man with pink hair.

He looked to be half human and half dragon like creature. The left side of his exposed body was covered in crimson coloured scales while his right side was tanned skin and a childlike grin. He had long, black and razor sharp talons on his left sides hand and feet that glinted dangerously in the light.

For clothes he wore a white scaled scarf over a sleeveless, gold trimmed, black waistcoat, often left open and untucked, exposing his bare chest, a gold trimmed, black cloth around his waist that reaches his knees, held by a leather brown belt with an oval-shaped silver buckle, white knee-length trousers with black ribbon ties. His right foot wore a black simple sandal.

"Hello again Makarov, it's been a while" the man spoke in a childish way that Makarov would recognise anywhere. If the pink hair didn't do it then the voice of his lost 'child' would jog his memory for sure.

"N-Natsu? Since when have you been a spirit?" he asks with his voice trembling. The guild had been worried sick about Natsu for years since he went missing without a trace.

"uhm, since always Makarov. Just I may have been exiled from my realm before my owner here decided to risk her life saving mine" he explains while gesturing at Lucy who was leaning against the wall letting them talk before she pushed herself up while saying

"Right, Natsu you can come back later, explain to the others about where I am and if they want to pop up then they are welcome to. You can go back now" to which she got a flick to the nose from the spirit which made her pout before sticking her tongue out making the spirit laugh and ruffle her hair before moulding back into a sphere of black smoke which disappeared back into the key that was laying on Makarov's desk.

"H-how did you get Natsu? I thought you had to die to become a spirit?" Makarov asked close to tears

"I saved his life, Makarov. He was already a spirit" the black hired girl explained to him before turning to the door and asking "can I do it now?" once the person in the shadow nodded the girl shouted out 'YES!'

Lucy pov

I equip into what I was wearing when I came into the guild earlier with my hair the same then I bent down to master's level and removed my coloured contcts so that my chocolate gaze could pierce his black one. confusion, recognition, pain, sadness, joy rushed through his eyes in a split second before "Luucy!" yelled the old man as he threw himself at me and placed a kiss on my forehead before dancing around on his desk singing

"Laxus' crush is back now I can have great-grandchildren"

Nobody pov

"sh-shut up gramps your emarrasing me~" both Laxus and Lucy whined. For another half an hour the two blondes and the elderly master caught up with all that happened in the years that the girl had been away.

"hey gramps, I was wondering if I could join the guild again... since, you guys are my nakama and I missed you guys, its all right if you say no but I just really wanted to come back" lucy said getting quitter and quieter until she ended in a whisper.

"of course my dear! we would be proud to have such a great mage as you in our ranks once again!" the wizard saint exclaimed before grabbing her hand and dragging her out of the office and onto the second floor to gather everyone's attention

"ATTENTION BRATS! LUCY HEARTFILIA IS RE-JOINING THE GUILD, LETS PARTY!" he screamed before pulling the blonde downstairs to get her stamp done.

"same place and colour?" Mira asked with the stamp in hand

"no Mira, I was wondering if I could get it uhm in black *whisper to mira* and have the sign where Evergreen has it, but since I'm wearing address I will have to pull it down to do it so could we do it in the store room or something?" she sked looking quite uncomfortable

"yes, of course lucy let me just explain to master where we are going" the bar maid exclaimed before going over to the old man, bending down and explaining where they were going. The perverted old man got a nosebleed thinking about Lucy pulling down her dress before Mira bonked him on the head with the stamp.


	3. Chapter 3

**hey guys~**

 **this chapter is kind of a let down, quite a bit of it is songs, because I needed to bulk it out and couldn't think of what to put in it**

 **I enjoyed writing this though~**

 **anyway~~~  
votes so far are~**

* * *

 **Gajeel - 2**

 **Laxus - 5**

 **Natsu - 2**

 **Gray - 2**

 **Zeref - 3**

 **Levy - 4**

 **Erza - 2**

 **Mira - 2**

 **Lisanna - 3**

 **Cana - 5**

 **Juvia - 7**

 **Elfman - 3**

 **Freed -**

 **Bickslow - 1**

 **Jellal/Mystogan - 5**

 **Lyon - 2**

 **Sting - 2**

 **Rogue - 3**

 **so far Juvia, Laxus and jellal/mystogan is in the lead closely followed by cana, zeref and levy**

 **hey guys I was wondering do you want the edolas jellal or the crime sorciere (?) jellal**

 **review who you think lucy should end up with and enjoy the story~**

 **I also have a poll for it on my profile~**

 **apocalypse out**

* * *

After a couple of minutes later, Lucy and Mira came back into the guild with Lucy in a different outfit entirely that showed off her new guild mark proudly.

She wore a blood red tube top that showed off her stomach and guild mark. For bottoms she wore black jeans shorts with a blood red belt keeping it up with her keys, a dagger and a whip attached. Instead of the sheer tight she wore black garters with blood red bows on the front. she had on black ( _surprise_ ) bots that went up to her knees. She also had on a sound pod that was playing Aerosmith because it reminded her of her mother (somehow)

As the song ended another one of her favourites started playing so she started quietly singing along

* * *

I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's only me, and I walk alone

I walk this empty street  
On the boulevard of broken dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one, and I walk alone

I walk alone, I walk alone  
I walk alone and I walk a

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
Till then I walk alone

Ah ah ah ah ah  
Ah ah ah ah ah

I'm walking down the line  
That divides me somewhere in my mind  
On the border line of the edge  
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines  
What's fucked up and every thing's all right  
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive  
And I walk alone

I walk alone, I walk alone  
I walk alone and I walk a

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
Till then I walk alone

Ah ah ah ah ah  
Ah ah ah ah ah

I walk alone, I walk a

I walk this empty street  
On the boulevard of broken dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one, and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
Till then I walk alone

* * *

As that song ended another one of her favourites started playing. she changed the word 'mama' to 'papa' because although she loved her father he always made her feel that he hated her and that he blamed her for Layla's death. Even though it was cruel and he technically hadn't done anything wrong she always wished that she could start over with a clean slate.

* * *

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?  
I have, I've been protested and demonstrated against  
Picket signs for my wicked rhymes, look at the times  
Sick as the mind of the motherfucking kid that's behind  
All this commotion emotions run deep as ocean's exploding  
Tempers flaring from parents just blow 'em off and keep going  
Not taking nothing from no one give 'em hell long as I'm breathing  
Keep kicking ass in the morning and taking names in the evening  
Leave 'em with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth  
See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out  
Look at me now, I bet ya probably sick of me now ain't you momma?  
I'mma make you look so ridiculous now

I'm sorry momma!  
I never meant to hurt you!  
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight  
I'm cleaning out my closet (one more time)  
I said I'm sorry momma!  
I never meant to hurt you!  
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight  
I'm cleaning out my closet

Ha! I got some skeletons in my closet  
And I don't know if no one knows it  
So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it  
I'mma expose it, I'll take you back to '73  
Before I ever had a multi-platinum selling CD  
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months  
My faggot father must have had his panties up in a bunch  
'Cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye  
No I don't. On second thought I just fucking wished he would die  
I look at Hailie, and I couldn't picture leaving her side  
Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try  
To make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake  
I maybe made some mistakes, but I'm only human  
but I'm man enough to face them today  
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb  
But the smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun  
'Cause I'da killed him, shit I would've shot Kim and him both  
It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Eminem Show"

I'm sorry momma!  
I never meant to hurt you!  
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight  
I'm cleaning out my closet (one more time)  
I said I'm sorry momma!  
I never meant to hurt you!  
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight  
I'm cleaning out my closet

Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition  
Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissing  
But put yourself in my position, just try to envision  
Witnessing your momma popping prescription pills in the kitchen  
Bitching that someone's always going through her purse and shit's missing  
Going through public housing systems, victim of Munchhausen's Syndrome  
My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't  
'Til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to ya stomach  
Doesn't it? Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me Ma?  
So you could try to justify the way you treated me Ma?  
But guess what? You're getting older now and it's cold when you're lonely  
And Nathan's growing up so quick he's gonna know that you're phony  
And Hailie's getting so big now, you should see her, she's beautiful  
But you'll never see her, she won't even be at your funeral!  
See what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong  
Bitch do your song, keep telling yourself that you was a mom!  
But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get  
You selfish bitch, I hope you fucking burn in hell for this shit  
Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?  
Well guess what, I am dead, dead to you as can be!

I'm sorry momma!  
I never meant to hurt you!  
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight  
I'm cleaning out my closet (one more time)  
I said I'm sorry momma!  
I never meant to hurt you!  
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight  
I'm cleaning out my closet

* * *

She loved her music but sometimes she always thought that it was a bit aggressive so one day she had downloaded a new song and it quickly became another one of her favourites. Although it was incredibly depressing she absolutely loved it kinda sucked that it nearly always made her cry when she sang it though. As if the sound pod knew what she was thinking about, the shuffle decided to pick the song that she was thinking about play next

* * *

I take these pills to make me thin  
I dye my hair, and cut my skin  
I tried everything, to make them see me  
But all they see, is someone that's not me

Even when I'm walking on a wire  
Even when I set myself on fire  
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible  
Everyday I try to look my best  
Even though inside I'm such a mess  
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible

Here inside, my quiet heart  
You cannot hear, my cries for help  
I tried everything, to make them see me  
But every one, see's what I can't be

Even when I'm walking on a wire  
Even when I set myself on fire  
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible  
Everyday I try to look my best  
Even though inside I'm such a mess  
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible

Sometimes when I'm alone  
I pretend that I'm a queen  
It's almost believable

Even when I'm walking on a wire  
Even when I set myself on fire  
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible  
Everyday I try to look my best  
Even though inside I'm such a mess  
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible

* * *

She pulled the sound pod down from her ears and opened her eyes to see that the entire guild was eerily silent, she turned around slowly and saw that the every single member was watching her with her. She realised that she had been dancing to the songs as she realised that her top had ridden up a bit, exposing a sliver more of her pale skin, which was from her dark magic, kinda sucked that she couldn't tan but to be able to summon the dead it was totally worth it.

"yes?" I asked the guild which caused them to snap out of the trance they seemed to be in a dive at me screaming all sorts of things like 'you have to sing for us' 'did you write those?' 'you sound amazing' 'sing at the karaoke night tonight' 'don't let Gajeel sing' the last one amused me, Gajeel was good on the guitar and other instruments, but he was absolutely crap at singing, last time he tried it around me and Laxus, we bashed him with a pillow, starting a pillow fight. _Worth it_

I absolutely loved this guild, I hadn't been here for years yet they still remembered me and welcomed me with open arms even after I abandoned them all those years ago… I should probably tell them why I left. After tonight. I just want to party. I looked to master and he gave me a nod with a twinkle in his eye, he knew what I was asking.

"LET'S PARTY, FAIRY STYLE!" I screamed while holding my hand up in the style that Laxus thought of years ago, it had become our thing even if some people didn't know what it meant. I even saw some newbies doing it _, aww they're so cute._ *sigh* I missed this.

* * *

we've been partying for a while now and I keep thinking about how my friends have changed since last time I've seen them... they're all really strong now! I feel weak compared to them, and that is saying something. After talking to my friends for a while I went and mingles with the newbies, one of them being Juvi-chan. She actually let me call her that as long as she can call me lulu-chan. All the other girls were surprised that she called me by my name instead of 'love rival' which she seems to call everyone, if only she knew that Erza once went out with Gray, and Cana. She seems nice, although her obsession with Gray is slightly weird, not as bad as some obsessions I have seen before though, Erza and cake is probably the worst one I have ever seen. I am seriously pissed about one thing, they didn't think to invite me to Lisanna's funeral. SHE WAS ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS! I cant believe they didn't invite me, but Laxus promised he would take me there tomorrow


End file.
